Basketball Jones


As it stands right now, I currently am in only one basketball league...which sucks. My handsome squad lost last night in the semi-finals of our 4-on-4 indoor league by 10. We didnt play our best game, so it was sort of frustrating to go out like that. Im going to try to get into the summer version of the same league, so hopefully I can make up for it. I havent had any good ideas for blogs lately, so I figured I would do a smorgasbord of basketball stuff. Like this:

KA-POW! Take that you little running asshole.

If that didnt get your heart racing and your pants tenting, here is a clip of when AI crossed up Jordan:

He should send me royalty checks for teaching him those moves back when we were on the grind in "Da Bad News", Newport News, VA.

I love wearing basketball jerseys on and off the court, but preferably off the court...while at outdoor grilling/drinking festivities. This is my go to jersey to wear in such a situation:

My main man Dr. J works the ladies into a frenzy. It also helps you eat beer cans. Picture proof:


Another jersey I like to wear is this Melo jersey from when he was a young buck at Syracuse.

The only reason Im mentioning this one is because I got it for $15 at the Nittany Mall. Talk about savings!!

Here is my favorite jersey...that I cant find a good picture of. Its a LeBron Nike 2007 FIBA jersey. This one is so crispy that I only wear it to weddings and when the pope visits. I hope to one day be wearing this when I concieve my first child. Here is a stupid partial view of it:

Nike has made a lot of sweet basketball commercials, but this one that came out a few years ago is pretty bad ass. One time after watching it, I was so pumped up that I dunked a basketball with my nutsack.

This is a still frame of Kobe getting socked in the neck by Chris Childs for no reason whatsoever:

One time during my senior year of basketball these paparazi were trying to get an up-short shot of my nuts (they heard about the dunk incident mentioned earlier) and snapped this picture. It ended up on the front page of the newspaper. The heading reads "Knights not afraid of Ghosts". You probably wont understand that unless you are from the Philadelphia area and know about Abington.

If you remember the first season of Flavor of Love or I Love Money, you will remember Nicole Alexander, aka "Hoopz". This is Nicole doing what she loves:

Yep, she loves being scantily clad and giving me the "lets bang" eyes. I think its real gross that she hooked up with Flav but I would still play some "one on one" with her if you catch my drift heh heh heh. Or I would totally "take it to the hole" on her heh heh heh. And I would "double dribble" her boobs heh heh heh. Plus I would need more than "3 seconds" in her lane heh heh heh. Then I would ejaculate on her face. Heh heh heh.

Depending on how "with it" you are when it comes to internet viral videos, here is one of a few that are circulating around with Charlie Murphy as some basketball guru. The best part is when there are explosions.

I cant find a video for this, but if anyone had the Space Jam soundtrack, there was an awesome song with Chris Rock and Barry White called "Basketball Jones". Such an odd colaboration produced a very very funny song. Since I cant find a video, here is a link that you can click. Prepare to have your eardrums POSTERIZED.

Speaking of Space Jam, the shoes pictured next are my favorite pair of Jordans ever. I actually even own a pair. I think they are fake thought because I bought them two years ago and they were only $75. They still look real...but dont really feel real since the sole inserts tore out after 2 weeks of playing in them.

Lastly, I want to share with you a youtube video I have shared with many people many times, so consider yourselves ordinary. This is a video I made with a friend that showcases our white boy verticals and even some sweet crip walking in the middle of the video. Let the soothing sounds of Method Man and Redman's DA ROCKWILDER carry you away into Dunktopia.

The comment section is funny. Some dude calls us "fat dick hoes".

In other basketball related news, I have a game tonight, 7pm, at the Oreland courts. Come out and support myself and my teammates as we try to bounce back from a loss on Monday. Ladies, please keep your tops on until after the game, because it is very distracting and arousing.

1 Comentário:

BillWaltonWARGH said...

that dunk vid makes my pants tight

Post a Comment