5 Awesome Friday


1. Ten High. Best bang for your buck bourbon boys buy. Semi-aliterative sentences are awesome too. Im going to baptize my children in this.

2. Jay-Z "Death of Autotune (DOA)". Another single from Blueprint:3. Personally, I have been saying this for a few months now and know a lot of other people felt the same way. Autotune can sound cool if its done right with a good beat, but it has jumped the shark

3. Spicy Mustard. Today my manager bought us all soft pretzels to enjoy while we had our quarterly meeting. The only problem was that the only mustard provided was generic yellow French's mustard. Not only does the manufacturer share a name with one of the suckiest countries that ever did suck, the mustard itself is terrible. I would rather put a mixture of hobo sweat and jellified swine flu on my food than use this stuff. My mainstay is Gulden's Spicy Mustard, but recently I found this awesome horseradish infused mustard:

The actual jar I have has a sick racing stripe and doubles as a blunt object good for bludgeoning someone to death. Especially those someones who bring terrible regular mustard.

4. Funny spam email subject lines. Today I clicked on my spam folder for the first time in I dont know how long (1589 unread spam emails) and saw some funny ones. I took a screensnap for you. Obviously they were all viruses and penis pill offers so I only opened the best one, but you get the picture. This is from the first 3 pages (75 total spam emails):

1. Says "Give squish mittens DUE attention"

2. Says "Click or cats gonna die"

1. Says "Need hard instrument, man?"

2. Says "find how to drill her better"

3. Says "For non-muslim users only"

4. Says "Baroness always whizgiggled at me"

1. Says "Look at this glorious shit"

2. Says "Greetings, are you online"

3. Says "Incredible Hulk's choice is the new Incredible Cialis"

5. Buttburger. No words can describe this awesomeness.

Mmmmmm buttburger...


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