Greetings and Salutations


First and foremost, welcome to the best blog ever made in the history of the internet. That being said, I hope I can always provide a positive and entertaining experience when you are here reading my own personal thoughts. If you are easily offended or take yourself too seriously, please proceed directly to the roof of whatever building you are in and jump off immediately. If you are in a one-story building or underground just take a nap under the front wheels of the nearest 18 wheeler. Ok, now that we have that out of the way, let me shed some light on my personal background.

I am a 23 year-old recent college graduate who lives in the wonderful city of Philadelphia. Five things I like are sports, reading, cute girls, cooking and making people laugh. Five things I dont like are stubbed toes, American Idol, ignorance, small-town newspapers, and cock-blocks (not to be confused with novelty, penis-shaped Legos.) People have told me that Im a funny guy and am a decent writer, so I figured I would combine them into one big stew of awesomeness. While I wont be focusing on one topic or subject here, most posts will be about my life encounters, random stuff I think about, cream soda, funny pictures or current pop culture. If you have a particular topic you want me to discuss, like robotic dinosaurs or the best type of beef jerky, drop a comment and I will write about it. Or dont, whatever its no sweat off my sack.

Originally I wanted an embedded image in the lower right corner to stay stationary on the screen as you scrolled down, but my HTML is rusty so that wont be happening just yet. Anyone who can tell me how to do it please do so ASAP. As a reward for your wealth of HTML knowledge, I will mail you a 8.5 x 11 autographed headshot of Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes. Also, if someone is good w/ digital imaging or photoshop, please create a pissed-off, fluorescent Tyrannosaurus Rex that has laser beams shooting out of its cock-area. No need to actually add the T-Rex cock, the lasers will suffice. But make the whole thing in pastels so it doesnt look like its actually that serious.

For now I feel like keeping anonymity would be in my best interest, since I am a young professional that may discuss some things that wont please everyone. If you really need to know who I am and are a hot chick looking to crush, the comment section would be your best bet. Note: both of those conditions must be met in order for some serious mommy and daddy dancing to occur. Im sorta pumped to start writing again so lets see how this goes. Hopefully I wont tire of this too quickly.


Patrick said...

Is this what I pay you for?

Kgleits said...

This site is giving me a chubby.

Katie said...

RIP Left Eye!

jemainejones33 said...

how do i post a comment?

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