Basketball Jones

As it stands right now, I currently am in only one basketball league...which sucks. My handsome squad lost last night in the semi-finals of our 4-on-4 indoor league by 10. We didnt play our best game, so it was sort of frustrating to go out like that. Im going to try to get into the summer version of the same league, so hopefully I can make up for it. I havent had any good ideas for blogs lately, so I figured I would do a smorgasbord of basketball stuff. Like this:



KA-POW! Take that you little running asshole.

If that didnt get your heart racing and your pants tenting, here is a clip of when AI crossed up Jordan:



He should send me royalty checks for teaching him those moves back when we were on the grind in "Da Bad News", Newport News, VA.

I love wearing basketball jerseys on and off the court, but preferably off the court...while at outdoor grilling/drinking festivities. This is my go to jersey to wear in such a situation:



My main man Dr. J works the ladies into a frenzy. It also helps you eat beer cans. Picture proof:



Nice.

Another jersey I like to wear is this Melo jersey from when he was a young buck at Syracuse.



The only reason Im mentioning this one is because I got it for $15 at the Nittany Mall. Talk about savings!!

Here is my favorite jersey...that I cant find a good picture of. Its a LeBron Nike 2007 FIBA jersey. This one is so crispy that I only wear it to weddings and when the pope visits. I hope to one day be wearing this when I concieve my first child. Here is a stupid partial view of it:



Nike has made a lot of sweet basketball commercials, but this one that came out a few years ago is pretty bad ass. One time after watching it, I was so pumped up that I dunked a basketball with my nutsack.



This is a still frame of Kobe getting socked in the neck by Chris Childs for no reason whatsoever:



One time during my senior year of basketball these paparazi were trying to get an up-short shot of my nuts (they heard about the dunk incident mentioned earlier) and snapped this picture. It ended up on the front page of the newspaper. The heading reads "Knights not afraid of Ghosts". You probably wont understand that unless you are from the Philadelphia area and know about Abington.



If you remember the first season of Flavor of Love or I Love Money, you will remember Nicole Alexander, aka "Hoopz". This is Nicole doing what she loves:



Yep, she loves being scantily clad and giving me the "lets bang" eyes. I think its real gross that she hooked up with Flav but I would still play some "one on one" with her if you catch my drift heh heh heh. Or I would totally "take it to the hole" on her heh heh heh. And I would "double dribble" her boobs heh heh heh. Plus I would need more than "3 seconds" in her lane heh heh heh. Then I would ejaculate on her face. Heh heh heh.

Depending on how "with it" you are when it comes to internet viral videos, here is one of a few that are circulating around with Charlie Murphy as some basketball guru. The best part is when there are explosions.



I cant find a video for this, but if anyone had the Space Jam soundtrack, there was an awesome song with Chris Rock and Barry White called "Basketball Jones". Such an odd colaboration produced a very very funny song. Since I cant find a video, here is a link that you can click. Prepare to have your eardrums POSTERIZED.

Speaking of Space Jam, the shoes pictured next are my favorite pair of Jordans ever. I actually even own a pair. I think they are fake thought because I bought them two years ago and they were only $75. They still look real...but dont really feel real since the sole inserts tore out after 2 weeks of playing in them.



Lastly, I want to share with you a youtube video I have shared with many people many times, so consider yourselves ordinary. This is a video I made with a friend that showcases our white boy verticals and even some sweet crip walking in the middle of the video. Let the soothing sounds of Method Man and Redman's DA ROCKWILDER carry you away into Dunktopia.



The comment section is funny. Some dude calls us "fat dick hoes".

In other basketball related news, I have a game tonight, 7pm, at the Oreland courts. Come out and support myself and my teammates as we try to bounce back from a loss on Monday. Ladies, please keep your tops on until after the game, because it is very distracting and arousing.

Longtime no blog

Whats up, first and foremost let me apologize for lack of updates. I have been really busy at work and didnt want to put up some subpar material. This is a very sincere apology (wanking motion). This blog is probably less than a month old, and already I want to switch some stuff up. Ive decided that I will still do entries like the ones before, with the lists and pictures and specific themes, but not as frequently as before. I want to be able to just pop in when I have ten minutes of free time and bang out a post of what Ive been pondering lately. Dont get me wrong, I enjoy making big posts with pictures and stuff, but with work being as hectic as it is and the internet not set up at home yet, it just isnt feasible. That being said, this is whats been up with me lately...

Work. Basketball. Manayunk.

Ive been working 45-50 hours a week, Im currently in two basketball leagues, and Ive been having a blast with the warmer weather in Manayunk. Work is work, so Ill spare you that explanation. For basketball, my awesome/handsome team won on Monday night in the quarterfinals meaning we play for a spot in the championship next Monday. Ive played in the Total Body League twice before and have come away with the 'chip twice, so Im not trying to break the streak. Tonight, an outdoor league, in Oreland, I am playing in kicks off at 7. Its calling for rain but I said fuck that noise and did an anti-rain dance in the parking lot. This one woman thought I was playing "air hackeysack". Ok neither of those events happened, but its funny to pretend it did. Lastly, living in Manayunk is awesome. Everything is within walking distance, there are lots of bars/restaurants, and tons of cute girls. Maybe Ill talk to a few of them sometime.

I cant really think of anything else to write about now, so Im going to show you two things that I bought today from Finishline.com since they were having a big sale:

They are only $50 bucks and are pretty different from any shoe that Ive had before. I like the look of the patent leather and overall color scheme, so hopefully cute girls will like them too. Maybe they will like them so much that they will correlate the size of the shoes on my feet to the size of other parts of my body. Psst...I mean...my...DICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I also bought this duffel bag. Its a big one and it was only $20 so I figured why not. Plus I dont currently own such a bag, nor have I for the last 3-4 years. Im not even lying. I used to go on canning trips or weekend jaunts using either a milk crate or a brown paper grocery bag. Sometimes I would class it up and put my belongings in a school bag. Now its straight high class with this baby.

Im sure most people have read the customer reviews for the three wolf t-shirt but if you havent, check the link out. Its amazon.com so its SFW. I had thought about leaving a comment about the duffel bag because its such a random object and doesnt really need a review. You could be like "I put all my stuff in it then zipped it up. I also used the straps to carry it wherever I was going. A+++++", ya know? Its a duffel bag, you shove your shit into it then proceed to take things out when needed. Here are some reviews I was thinking about leaving:

"Can fit a whole dead hooker inside"

"I was able to fit $87,000 in one-dollar bills in this thing! Pac-Man aint got shit on me with his hefty bag!"

"Feeds family of 5 for a week. Straps are a little dry. Drink a white wine with this product"

"I used this to smuggle drugs through air security. Contents visible through x-ray scan. Do not buy."

"Ive been homeless for a year and this is the only bag I would endorse."

Also, in addition to winning the basketball game on Monday, I also won two other things. I won a $25 gift certificate in the monthly drawing to the pizza place, Santucci Brothers and also a free OPEN BAR (my two favorite words) at Mad River, from 8-10 on Friday. So if anyone wants to eat some pizza with me or poison their livers hit me up. Lastly, this weekend is the Manayunk Bike Race. Should be a weekend-long party so drop a line if you will be in the area. Im having a party at my house Sunday, so bring your drinking pants.